14 September 2008

Babysitting and Fishing

Before I go into the lesson of the day- ha ha- let me just brag on baby boy for a bit. My little "Re Re" (if you don't know what this means, please don't ask- it is just too mean to share) has been mumbling his way through life for 20 months now. The poor kid couldn't hear for more than half of the first year of his life, so his ability to gauge sound is definitely developmentally behind. However, in the last two weeks his vocabulary has exploded, as has his ability to enunciate and speak clear enough for even a stranger to be able to make out what he is saying. Don't get me wrong, we're not talking sentences here, but he has absolutely surpassed "Re Re" in terms of language, is well on his way past "Mushmouth", and is creeping up to being on target for his age. Go, Connlaodh!

Lessons of the day...
As always, I am amazed both by my children in and of themselves and also by just how much of the world they allow me to see through their eyes and actions. Just when I feel myself safely cocooned inside my bubble of automaton adulthood, one of them does something so mundane, so trivial, yet so new when done by them that I am given cause to pause, review, and either shudder because they have hit so close to a sad or bitter truth or laugh because their actions are so clean and so innocent, and so FULL of truth.

Today we were at the Museum of Nature and Science in Dallas (by the way, for you Fort Worth snobs out there- the Fair Park complex blows Fort Worth away...as much as I love Cowtown - and you know I do- I just don't get the need to blow off South Dallas in favor of the Stockyards and cobblestone streets...anyway...). Damn, again I digress. Have I mentioned yet that I have this terrible habit of starting three conversations at once and never finishing any of them? As always, I blame the children. Okay, where was I....? Oh, yes. The Museum in Fair Park.

So we ramble through the exhibits upstairs, unearthing fossils and making giant bubbles, and finally reach the stairs to head down to the Children's Museum (which is, in fact, the entire bottom floor of the Museum of Nature and Science)...this is always the highlight of the trip, as the Children's Museum has everything from fire trucks to farms to baby dolls to bugs- fun for the whole family! We spent several hours down there, playing in the water, climbing the rock wall, etc. Anyway, Eibhlin and I spent some time with the baby dolls in the house area- we fed them, patted them, swaddled them, and had a grand ole time reliving the last five years of my life- ha ha. I decided to put my "baby" down and head on into the next room- the living room- for a few minutes of "me" time, complete with little plastic couch and little board books. We're talking serious R & R. Eibhlin said she would follow soon, so I went into the next room and sat down.

I was there, alone, for quite some time. I peeked through the "window" between rooms and could see Eibhlin- she was sitting on the floor. Now, I want you to visualize the scene as I saw it. Eibhlin was on the floor, in front of a cradle, sitting with her legs up to her chest and with her left arm resting on her knees. Her right arm was off to the side and behind her, her right hand inside the cradle, patting the "baby" inside. She was not looking at the baby or at me; Eibhlin was staring at the ceiling, quietly singing a lullaby.
I said, "Eibhlin, are you okay?"
She sighed and shushed me, "Shh, she is not asleep yet. I will be in there when she's asleep, okay?"
I, being the moron that I am asked, "WHO is not asleep?" Really, could I be any dumber? Duhh...
"The BABY is still awake and if I leave she will cry. I need to pat her. SHHHH," and Eibhlin turned her eyes back to the ceiling and continued to sing.

Now this was not a little girl playing "dolls", nor was this a little girl playing "Mommy". What I saw, sitting on that floor, was me and every other woman who has ever been exasperated by a baby who would not settle down. I saw me at 2 am with Eibhlin as an infant, when she was screaming bloody murder until she would pass out...I saw my sister-in-law and brother passing off their squeaky three month old when she wouldn't stop squealing unless she was moving...I saw woman after woman do what they needed to, and often unconsciously, in order to make sure their baby was tended to, no matter how hard it was. I saw my little girl as a mother, in those few moments, and realized (yet again) that the teacher in her life who will have the most impact on who she becomes is the one with whom she spends the most time, sees in context the most often. And again, I have been reminded that no matter what I feel, how tired I am, how frustrated I may be, no matter how much I have to do, etc., etc., she is dependent upon me- us- to show her what is right and what is wrong. In a very weird way I was proud of what I saw today, because though it reminded me of those moments of sheer exhaustion that I am not exactly sad to never relive, I saw in her the persistence and love necessary as a mother to make it through those moments well enough to be able to do them all over again and again.

(A few hours later)

The kids napped for a while after the Museum and finally woke up in time for dinner. Taidhgin was so upset when he woke up because we had decided to go fishing before dinner, and here it was dinner time and we wouldn't be able to go. He was so upset, in fact, that I broke down and told him we could go for just a little bit right AFTER dinner. So that is what we did...

We packed up the rod and tackle box, hopped in the truck, and headed down to the duck pond. Eibhlin came along for the ride and the three of us were ready and raring to go. Personally, I was absolutely terrified of actually catching something- I had no wire cutter, no pliers, no gloves- just me, two kids, and some power bait. Some of you are laughing, I am sure, about how I don't actually need those other items. However, I have serious issues with fish hook removal (and holding a fish without a glove) courtesy of the sunny who cut up the inside of my dad's hand one day when I was barely 8 or 9. So I have this deep and grave concern over little tiny fish causing me to gush rivers of blood- you will just have to forgive my one terribly silly fear. If I have gloves, I am golden. Without, I can only hope that there is nothing in that pond besides turtles and algae. Moving on...

So, the duck pond isn't exactly known for its huge fish population and I felt fairly certain that I wouldn't have to worry until this man tells us that he just let go a 7" fish and there were at least 10 more in the water below when he dropped in back in. Damn it! I congratulated him, bit my cheek, and put some bait on the line...

There really was no need to worry, as I was soon to find out, because neither kid had any interest in letting the bait sit still long enough to land anything at all. They were all about watching the bobber get dragged from one end to the other and then reeling it in as fast as their little hands could handle. I breathed a sigh of relief and opted to spend our time there teaching them how to cast as opposed to how to de-hook. Ha ha.

Let me tell you how I now see why my dad DID drag us out to catch those dumb ass sunnies. I never understood how a man who fished the ocean, fished in Alaska, etc. could possibly find fishing for sunnies in a little watering hole a worthwhile way to spend a few hours. I truly understand now...wow...my son is incredible. After a few demonstrations and a couple of guided releases, he nailed it. He could get that bait out damn near to the center of the pond without much effort at all. He would press the release button with his right thumb, grab the pole from under with the rest of his right hand, grasp the end of the pole with his left hand for leverage, swing back slow and steady, and then cast his line like he had been doing it his whole life. It was fantastic! He had control, he was steady, he was responsible and checked to make sure there was no one behind him, and he was focused. He did such a beautiful job casting, checking for slack, pulling up on the line, etc., that we are heading back on Wednesday--- and this time I am bringing my gloves.

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