A Resolution

New Year's Day, 2010.

Research has shown that 78% of the people who make New Year's resolutions fail at keeping them. I try to avoid making resolutions each year as 1) I am one of the 78% and 2) really, does any other reason matter after reason number one? This year I decided again against making a resolution and instead opted to set some goals for living. Nothing specific like "I will keep my sink spotless" (though this was a goal once and worked for a while...), but rather goals regarding how I will approach the world and the people in it.

The bigger question for me was HOW to approach the world in a manner different than my usual M.O. I am not necessarily looking to do a total overhaul of mindset and personality; I would, however, like to improve upon where I am in the context of the world as well as internally.

Few things in my life have caused me to look inward with such a critical eye; however, their presence has already helped to make some improvements. So, for inspiration in designing my goal, I turn to these few "things": my children.

We chose their first and middle names for two reasons: 1) a connection to our ethnic past and 2) the meaning of the names themselves. I have spent some time today thinking about the meanings of their names and realized that my muse is no further from me than are my children's birth certificates. One look at their names and the memory of the passion that went into choosing each one has helped me to see what I need to work on this coming year and in the years to come:

Taidhgin: Poet
Words are the key to relationships and existence. As a poet would, I need to remember to choose my words well and wisely. I need to remind myself that often times it is what is said that is remembered; each statement should be one worthy of that memory.
Eibhlin: Pleasant, beautiful, radiant
There is little in life that doesn't have at least one beautiful aspect or feature. Once found, it can make any ugliness seem microscopic. This is probably the most difficult goal to pursue, as it is easier to see the dark and heavy and ugly than it is to search for the one gossamer thread of beauty that lies beneath. But it is there, somewhere, and is always worth searching for.
Connlaodh: Fire
I have to remember my passions. Not just in love and in friendship, but in thought and in heart. Those embers that used to burn for politics and love and adventure can become muted and watered down over time...but those are the same embers we will need to keep us warm when our bodies are growing colder.

Dante: Enduring, obstinate
I don't typically have a problem in this area, but I will remind myself as much as necessary that I will last longer than any problem or dilemma or hurt I come across.
Gioia: Joy; happiness
Few memories contain such sweetness as those of being called "my gioia" as a little girl. This kind of joy should not be limited to what we can recall, but should be allowed- and EMBRACED- each and every day of our lives.
Ettore: Holding fast
It is easier, as we get older, to let things go because we feel we do not have the strength to weather the storm. However, the need to hold on to what's important and true and good does not shrivel as we age; indeed, it probably grows. So I must remember that no amount of weariness is worth sacrificing what I need for a few moments of rest.

As always, it is my children that are leading the way. And, as always, their path is probably the most difficult...and the most rewarding. Hopefully I will be able to follow their lead as far as it goes...and that we will all learn something from the trip.

And with that being said, I solemnly resolve to write on the blog at least once a week, mostly about the children; you are welcome to read, delete, comment, ignore, etc...anything to keep me from being in that 78%!

Happy New Year's.